Releasing What No Longer Serves You

If you’ve been following the Quest For Harmony Community, you know we are focusing on clearing clutter this February to make space for new opportunities and prepare for planting seeds in spring. When we talk about clutter clearing, we mean more than just your physical environment. Clutter can take place in your mental, emotional, and even spiritual space, which is why it’s important to consider all aspects of your life.

Emotional clutter can be very similar to mental clutter. It can create feelings of anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and stress. You know those spiralling negative thoughts and self-talk you have? That’s a form of emotional clutter – especially when they are related to emotional times in your life, specific relationships, etc. (by the way, if you haven’t checked it out yet – I created a webinar that goes into how I rewrite my negative self-talk to improve my harmony and aligned productivity. Watch it free here.)

Personally, the signs that help me realize that I have too much emotional clutter include:

• Trouble sleeping – typically, when I have thoughts spiralling in my head, especially relating to emotional clutter, my sleep patterns get disrupted. I am a light sleeper on a good day, so if I don’t clear my emotional clutter, I have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. This is one of the first signs that tells me I need to do some emotional decluttering.

• Trouble concentrating – I love to meditate. I started years ago (although initially, I didn’t call it meditating) that has helped me find calm in my day and embrace a more intentional approach to my life. I don’t meditate for hours a day, more like 10-15 minutes, but when I’m having difficulty slowing my thoughts down in that timeframe, I know I need to declutter.

• Inability to make decisions or get motivated – even with all my habits and rituals to embrace harmony, I still have down days. I think we all are bound to get them periodically. When I wake up and have difficulty getting motivated to start my task list or make decisions, I know I need a day to pause, reflect, and focus on my emotional clutter. This includes when I have the odd day that I don’t want to get out of bed. These days are rare for me now that I’ve embraced harmony and am striving for my dream life, but even the best of us get tired sometimes. It is important to know when it’s happening and determine our triggers to help us get back on track.

Studies have shown that repressing emotions, such as pushing emotions down during hard times, can also increase emotional clutter. Instead, it’s better to process and acknowledge our emotions in the moment so they don’t clutter our mental load.

Since we are talking about clutter clearing, there are also the emotional aspects of clutter! If we are surrounded by reminders of things that aren’t done or emotional times that haven’t been fully processed or let go of, this can add to our emotional clutter. Also, if we feel guilt about getting rid of our clutter because it was a gift or belonged to someone important to us, that can add to our clutter. Especially if we opt to keep the clutter because of that guilt – we become reminded of that guilt every time we pass by that object.

Emotional clutter is definitely the most challenging clutter for me to get rid of. I find that it has a way of creeping back up, but thankfully, I’m aware of practices and routines to incorporate into my schedule to keep it in check.

How do I approach emotional decluttering?

My experience with emotional clutter has made me realize just how easy it is to overlook. For example, it wasn’t until I worked with a coach on a weekly basis that I could fully understand some of the deep-rooted emotional clutter that was limiting me from reaching my potential. This included things like self-limiting beliefs that I had picked up as a kid or teenager, fears that I didn’t even know I had about putting myself out there, and worries about what other people’s opinions were.

By working with a coach one-on-one, she helped me uncover emotional clutter that I was ignoring without even knowing it was there. This helped me go deeper into my reflection and take the steps to make some real changes in my emotional life.

Now, I still incorporate many other things into my regular schedule that help me declutter any emotional baggage and uncover some of these self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. As I said, I try to incorporate these into my weekly schedule. Still, I also have developed an awareness of my triggers and physical responses to emotional clutter. This helps me go deeper into these practices or phone my coach to declutter even more.

For now, let’s talk about some of the easier tips for emotional decluttering that don’t require a lot of time, money, or effort.

Emotional decluttering with harmony tips:

1. Let go of objects or pictures tied to guilt, obligation, or regret. Just like we talked about in the mental clutter article, having objects, photos, or things lying around your physical space related to a destructive emotion, guilt, regret, or obligation will add to your emotional clutter every time you pass it. Even if you don’t make a habit of looking at it every day, just walking past it or into the room where the object is located can add to your emotional clutter (and mental clutter, for that matter). If there are pictures that were taken on a day that was really hard or bring up a feeling of guilt, maybe it’s time to get rid of the picture (or at least pack it away). Obviously, when it comes to things like grief, losing someone doesn’t mean you should get rid of their pictures. This tip is more about those items that bring guilt or regret. For example, if your mother-in-law insisted you take an heirloom because it must be kept in the family, but you hate it, then it may be causing you emotional clutter. Consider a step you can take to create a healthier environment.

2. Don’t follow or interact with people who make you feel guilty or “less than” (as much as you can). This one is more about social media and media that you consume, but it can also relate to people you interact with. First, make sure you aren’t following people on social media who make you feel guilty or like you are “less than” them. That isn’t to say don’t follow accounts that motivate you to become a better version of yourself! Focus on the ones that make you feel gross, not because you aren’t making yourself better, but because they are trying to act like they are better than you and make you feel negative about yourself. Follow inspirational, motivational, or fun profiles that make you want to become that better future version without guilt and sadness. As I said, this can also relate to people. If someone in your life constantly puts you down, tells you that you “can’t” accomplish your goals, or makes you feel guilty for trying to become a better version of yourself, consider some healthy boundaries you can put up to limit your interactions. In some cases, this can be not talking to that person again. Still, in other cases (aka family members), you might have to develop other boundaries that keep your emotional health safe and clutter-free without completely removing them from your lives. This one is tough as it is very personal to you – so only you can decide the best way to proceed.

3. Be kind to yourself – you are human, and we all make mistakes. Self-compassion is such a critical component of any healthy habits. Remember that we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Embrace the journey of progress, not perfection, and realize that you will sometimes fall on the path to your dreams. That’s okay. I’ve had many failures in my life, but I have come to think of them as learning opportunities instead of outright failures. They’ve helped me continue growing into the person I am today and will continue to help me grow into the person I am striving to become. Those lessons are just as important as the wins along the way.

4. Develop a journaling practice. Typically, when I tell my clients to develop a journaling practice, they say they don’t like to do that. Honestly, I’m not saying you need to do a daily gratitude journal or elaborate journal that has drawings and perfect sentences. I mean a “dump” form of journaling. My journaling practice is simply a place where I can put my thoughts down into a notebook, whatever random thoughts they are, to get them out of my mind and into the physical world. This helps me process them and, ultimately, let them go. Especially when you add the physical action of closing your notebook on the negative thoughts and feelings – something lifts a weight off my shoulders when I do this simple movement. There are many different journaling practices, so try some out and find one that works for you! The important thing is to find a practice that helps you acknowledge your feelings, good or bad, and process them healthily. If journaling isn’t the way for you, then I recommend checking in with a therapist to find other ways that might be helpful and resonate with you.

5. Create healthy boundaries in relationships and with work. Some people don’t like the word “boundaries,” so you could call them healthy habits or something else. The key point is to ensure that you are protecting your energy levels, time, and peace when it comes to work and relationships. Sometimes, we have to put up with more toxic relationships, but we don’t want to take on that energy or let it negatively impact our emotional health. Healthy boundaries (or habits) that come into effect when things get too toxic can help here. Whether it’s a decision not to look at email past 6 pm, ensuring that you have specific work times and you are unavailable outside of that time, or maybe that you only answer phone calls from a particular person once a week and don’t talk about a specific topic – you will have to figure out what “healthy” looks like to you and your situation. Again, sometimes a therapist can also help with this point if you are having difficulty coming up with a solution.

Of course, I could add a sixth one – hire a coach – but that does require money. It is an amazing experience and helps shift your mindset even further by having someone with an external perspective work with you. However, I know that 1:1 coaching isn’t possible for everyone’s budgets. That’s why my focus for this year is to incorporate more group programs, reducing the cost of getting help in these areas without having to foot the bill for 1:1 coaching. If you want to go deeper into these topics or know more about my group offerings, sign up for my weekly newsletter. On top of being the first to know about my upcoming programs, subscribers get behind-the-scenes information, free resources, and subscriber-only promotions and discounts that I don’t offer anyone else. Sign up now so you don’t miss out!

Connecting Your Emotional Decluttering Week with Water

Just like the other weeks in our month of clearing the clutter to make space for what’s important, I want to talk about bringing the element of Water into your week. Water has been linked to intuition, trust, dreams, and emotions. Plus, they say our bodies are made of up to 60% water! So, it seems natural to bring water into our week.

As you are clutter-clearing, I encourage you to incorporate the Water element daily this week. Some ways might include:

1. Have a bath, shower, or soak to cleanse and enjoy the water. My favourite weekly ritual is to have a Sunday bath. I love bringing in essential oils, candles, music, and a good book. It is part of my non-negotiable self-care routine, and I try my best not to miss it each week. This is how I connect with the element of water and do some emotional and mental decluttering every week. How could you incorporate a ritual like this into your schedule this week? It doesn’t have to be a bath! Some people have a shower ritual where they envision the water washing away their week's negative thoughts and feelings.

2. Reconnect with your inner child. Creativity and music have been linked with helping your brain process emotions, so draw, paint, dance, or find other creative ways to connect with your inner child this week! I used to love writing stories and drawing cartoons, so these are great ways for me to reconnect with that childlike wonder. Other ways include finding ways to play! This doesn’t have to be a game of tag, but think about what you used to love doing as a kid – what made you laugh? What made you want to dance? What made you feel like time was standing still? Think about these activities and consider how you could do similar things in your schedule this week.

3. Evaluate your relationships. As we discussed in the previous section, consider your relationships this week. These could be personal relationships, love relationships, friendships, or work relationships. Reflect on the feelings and emotions that arise when you think about them.

4. Find other ways to connect with water. If you are like me, you are surrounded by snow. But that doesn’t mean we can’t connect with water! I could build a snowman with my kids, make snow angels, or find other ways to play in the snow (although maybe not when it’s -46 deg. C with the windchill…). If you are in a warmer climate, this could be walking in the rain, swimming in a lake, or finding other fun (and safe) ways to connect with water!

 This idea of connecting clutter clearing with the different elements comes from the 28-Day Soul Coaching® Program by Denise Linn, which I’m grateful to have been trained in to offer to my clients. It is such a powerful program, which I’ve been through multiple times myself. Join the waitlist if you want to know when my next program cohort comes up!

Journal Prompts to Get Started

If you don’t know where to get started, here are some journal prompts to consider this week:

• What emotions or past experiences am I holding onto that no longer serve me?

• Are there relationships that drain my energy instead of uplifting me?

• Am I empowered and nourished by my personal relationships?

• What recurring thoughts or beliefs keep me stuck in the past or prevent me from moving forward?

• How can I create space for more peace, joy, and clarity in my daily life?

Join Quest for Harmony Community

Want more tips like these, including mini-weekly challenges, affirmations, reflection, and a community of others doing the work alongside you? Join my free online community, Quest for Harmony Community! Every week, I add content like this to help you achieve success on your terms with harmony, not hustle.

Here are some other articles that talk about emotional decluttering if you want more information:

Letting Go of Emotional Clutter: How Minimalism Supports Healing and Growth in Therapy. In Minimalism. Accessed on February 18, 2025 at https://minimalism.co/articles/letting-go-of-emotional-clutter-how-minimalism-supports-healing-and-growth-in-therapy

Calm AF Podcast. Declutter Your Life, Part 3: Emotional Clutter. Accessed on February 18, 2025 at https://kristenfinch.com/declutter-emotional-clutter/

Stephanie Thurrott. January 8, 2024. How to Spot the Emotional Clutter in Your Life and Find Ways to Clear It. In Banner Health. Accessed at https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/teach-me/how-to-spot-the-emotional-clutter-in-your-life