Making Space for Inner Peace and Calm: Approaching Spiritual Decluttering with Harmony
- Keely
- Feb 24
- 9 min read
After my third son was born in 2016, I felt completely stuck. I was consumed by fear – fear about raising three young humans in a sometimes violent and unfair world. I was afraid of losing all the progress I had made in my career because I was taking a full year of maternity leave, which I had never done before. I didn’t know if going back to work was a good idea or if I would miss too much of my kid's younger years. But the fear of not having enough money to feed and clothe them, given that I was the breadwinner at the time, made it feel impossible not to return.
All of this fear made it feel like I was constantly carrying this heavy weight around (not to mention the added weight of the mom guilt associated with returning to work in 2017).
Now, looking back, I realize that some of these fears weren’t necessarily mine – some were created by societal expectations of what success as a career mother “should” look like. I was also weighted down by the expectations of what my body should look like, given that I was a woman in my early thirties – society didn’t care if I had 3 children within 5 years.
I was also full of emotions that I hadn’t fully processed. I was terrified after becoming a mother, full of guilt that I was doing something wrong, no matter how hard I tried. I was losing friends on a weekly basis, friends that I had spent years with, but suddenly, I didn’t want to be around a mom of 3.
All of this guilt, fear, and anxiety felt like a heavy suitcase I had to lug around with me everywhere I went – strapped around my shoulders no matter how hard I pulled. I didn’t feel connected to something greater. I felt like I was stuck in survival mode – just trying to make it through the day.
I am so grateful for the simple assessment that I took to make me pause and consider what I was missing. Similar to the Harmony Blindspot Scale, it woke me up to realize that I was spending too much time in this fear and anxiety, which plagued my career and family identities. This was causing me to ignore other important aspects – my emotional health, adventures, mental health, and my spiritual connection to something bigger.
Looking back, I realize I was flooded with all types of clutter. But the biggest decluttering I needed back then was spiritual.
Personally, the signs that help me realize that I have too much spiritual clutter include:
Feeling overwhelmed by “what if” thoughts or fears. This was really obvious when I felt stuck, scared I was losing my career, scared I was being a “bad mom.” The spiraling thoughts of failure and “what ifs” were strong and heavy. I wish I had known the practices and habits I do now to help me in those early years of my children’s lives. It would have helped me be more present and let go of those unnecessary societal pressures and limiting beliefs.
Feeling overcome by chaotic and unhealthy energy. Periodically, especially when I miss my morning rituals, I can still feel that chaotic and unhealthy energy trying to bring itself back into my life. The weight of worry about not getting enough done and societal pressure to be something that I’m not. It feels like swirling energy that leaves me nervous, anxious, and sometimes even sick to my stomach. For me, this energy is a great reminder to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with my practices that help me step back and consider the bigger picture.
Feeling disconnected and directionless. I don’t know how to explain the feeling beyond that – sometimes, I feel disconnected and like I lack direction. This makes me feel like all my work each day is going nowhere – similar to that feeling of being a hamster on a wheel. My thoughts spiral into despair, thinking that nothing is going as planned, and I don’t know how to get back on track. This feeling tells me I need to do some spiritual decluttering to clear the spiraling thoughts and reconnect with my vision and something bigger than me.
How do I approach spiritual decluttering?
Personally, I don’t only consider spiritual decluttering once a month or periodically throughout the year. I prefer having small spiritually connected practices throughout my schedule, even every day, to help me stay connected to something bigger than myself. It helps remind me to find joy, have fun, and appreciate the smaller things in life.
However, this isn’t always enough. Some weeks, especially if I miss my morning meditation and journaling practice because I’m traveling or my kids are sick, that energy of chaos and overwhelm can sneak in. These are the times that I’m reminded to slow down, meditate, and try to remember the bigger picture.
Our fears are often unwarranted, and our “what ifs” never come to pass. Even when they do, they are rarely as bad as we thought they would be. In those times, I like to remind myself of the simple question – will this matter in 5 years? When I reflect on this moment, will it still be a big deal? Looking at the bigger picture from a timeline in the future helps me let go of those what-ifs and fears and focus on the action I want to take next.
Spiritual decluttering with harmony tips:
Release anger, anxiety, and fear. For me, this is a good journaling practice – it helps me search for things I’m holding onto that are weighing me down. In this sense, it has to do with what is causing me to worry and any fear that might hold me back. Spiritual clutter can increase when we let our fears dictate our actions – so ask yourself, what fears are you holding onto? If it’s anger at another person – write a letter of forgiveness to them, and consider how you can truly forgive them. You don’t have to give it to the person; instead, write it to release yourself from that anger or hurt.
Try meditation or mindfulness to focus on the present moment. This expands on the fear section but does not only include fear. Sometimes, we are so worried about the “what if” scenarios – my middle child is particularly pulled down by these spiraling thoughts – and many times, those things never come to be. If we can focus on the present moment through meditation or mindfulness practices or simply focus on “what is my next action right now,” this can help break us out of those “what if” scenarios and focus on what is good about today.
Try a gratitude practice or other form of focusing on the good. If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, then you know that the gratitude journal only worked for a short period of time. There have actually been studies on this that explain why, but I still find that having some form of practice to remind ourselves of the good things each day or week is still a powerful practice. Personally, each day, I pay attention to the top 3 things that happened during the week that brought me joy, happiness, or excitement. I also keep a monthly list of wins or things to celebrate in my planner so that I can review everything that comes up at the end of the month.
Take time to celebrate even the smallest steps! When we are striving toward a dream life, especially when we have busy schedules on top of it, it’s hard for us to remember to celebrate the steps we’ve accomplished – even the small ones. Taking a moment to be grateful for the time and energy to achieve those small steps and breathing in the feeling of completion helps fuel our discipline and helps us remember to connect it with something bigger than ourselves.
Spend time outside and be creative. Spending time outdoors is one of the easiest ways to clear my spirit and connect with something bigger than myself. I love cloud-watching and walking through trees. Watching wildlife and animals in their habitat (when safe) is also a fun way to connect. There is something magical about connecting with nature and getting away from the hustle of the city. Personally, I live sitting near a duck pond in the spring and summer, watching the babies grow. I take a notebook to write, draw, and connect with my inner creativity while watching the natural world around me move at its own pace.
Of course, if you are a spiritual or religious person, adding your own weekly routines and habits related to faith and spirituality can be another way to declutter and connect with Spirit. Personally, I enjoy pulling Tarot and Oracle cards every week for myself. I also incorporate reading a spiritual or philosophical book every morning, even if for only 10 minutes, to allow my mind to consider spirituality. This includes stoicism, Buddhism, and more.
Connecting your Spiritual Decluttering Week with Fire
Like the other weeks in our month of clearing the clutter to make space for what’s important, I want to talk about bringing the element of Fire into your week of spiritual decluttering. The element of Fire has been linked to the spark of life and the power of renewal. It can bring us warmth, light the darkness, and, like the sun, help things grow. I also like to think about the Phoenix, which must erupt into flames to clear away what no longer serves before it can transform and emerge from the ashes. As we grow into the new, the ashes act as the foundation of the old.
As you are clutter-clearing, I encourage you to incorporate the Fire element daily this week. Some ways might include:
Light a candle and watch it flicker. (Be careful with open flames.) Personally, I love to sit with a candle as an easy way to connect with the element of fire. I always have a lit candle when I have my weekly bath ritual. Sometimes, I also light a candle when I’m writing.
Enjoy some time in the sunlight. Even if you are stuck indoors like me on a cold winter day, you can still stand in the sunlight through your window. Every morning, I like to greet the sun by standing in one of my windows that faces the East. I close my eyes and feel the sun's warmth on my skin. This is an easy and great way to wake up and connect with the element of Fire this week. (just be careful how long, and wear SPF if you need to!)
Try a guided visualization or meditation that involves a fire. Sometimes, I enjoy finding fireplace sounds from my meditation app (I used Insight, but I know that Calm also has sound effect meditations). Then, I envision that I am sitting in front of a campfire on the beach, listening to the crackling of the fire and waves in the background. This is a relaxing meditation for me, but modify it to one that works better for you. Or, if you are lucky enough, you could sit in front of a crackling fire instead of imagining it (again – be safe with an open flame!).
This idea of connecting clutter clearing with the different elements comes from the 28-Day Soul Coaching® Program by Denise Linn, which I’m grateful to have been trained in to offer to my clients. It is such a powerful program, which I’ve been through multiple times. Join the waitlist to know when my next program cohort comes up!
Journal Prompts to Get Started
If you don’t know where to get started, here are some journal prompts to consider this week:
What is a belief about yourself that is holding you back? Where do you think this belief came from? i.e., not strong enough to overcome an obstacle, not smart enough to figure something out, etc.
Write a letter to your younger self. What would you tell them about the things they feared back then? What could this mean about things you fear today? (follow the “what ifs”!)
What emotions come up when you think about forgiveness? Who in your life (including yourself) do you need to forgive?
How does holding onto resentment serve you? What might shift if you chose to release it?
What does “Spirit” mean to you? How has your understanding of it evolved over time?
Join Quest for Harmony Community
Want more tips like these, including mini-weekly challenges, affirmations, reflection, and a community of others doing the work alongside you? Join my free online community, Quest for Harmony Community! Every week, I add content like this to help you achieve success on your terms with harmony, not hustle.
Here are some other articles that talk about emotional decluttering if you want more information:
Alexis Donkin. (January 16, 2017) How to Declutter Spirit & Heal for Good. Accessed with https://alexisdonkin.com/declutter-spirit/
Ann Marie. (Accessed on February 23, 2025). 5 Simple Ways to Declutter Your Spiritual Life. Accessed with https://bloggersforthekingdom.com/declutter-your-spiritual-life/
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